Newsletter signup
The Name Game The Name Game
There is a recurring question that I’m being asked almost daily now.  I’m not sure if it naturally happens around the 1-year mark after... The Name Game

There is a recurring question that I’m being asked almost daily now.  I’m not sure if it naturally happens around the 1-year mark after separation (or what!) but it has become much more obvious to me recently.  Friends, family and strangers alike all seem to want to know:

Will I go back to my maiden name?

Gibbons.  Jessica Gibbons.  That is who I used to be and that is who I still show up as on many of my friends’ call displays.  That is how some of my friends have decided to start introducing me since my separation- I guess in anticipation of an… inevitable? … switch back.

For 27 years of my life I was a Gibbons.  For 8 years, I have been a Blumel.  Makes sense to go back to my original name, no?  The ‘struggle’ lies therein.

Since I was a little girl, it was always my dream to be married, have a family and, (maybe) oddly enough… to take on the last name of my future husband.  I was the girl that, every time I dated someone new, I practiced writing out Jessica _______ with HIS last name.  There was never a doubt in my mind that marriage equalled name change. It was all so romantic and I’m a hopeless romantic.  Self-admittedly and usually quite obviously.

Nobody gets married thinking they might one day get divorced.  You make all decisions accordingly.

Alas, here I find myself, newly named and separated (within a period of 8 years) and being asked constantly what I am going to do about this situation I find myself in.  Quite the conundrum.

Our babies are Blumel and we won’t be changing that.  I’m cognizant of the fact that, nowadays, many parents have different last names than their children do, but somehow I feel attached to my ex’s name because of my kids.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed that I changed my name to Jessica Rose (my middle name).  If you don’t follow me on Instagram… come join the fun, here!  I felt like simply removing the Blumel (and reverting to just my given names) was a pretty big step and somehow made me feel like I had ‘reclaimed’ a bit of myself.  Some people noticed and I got private messages about it (mostly asking if I had remarried, which brings this all full-circle).

It’s such an interesting thing, this name game.

While I am still undecided, I find this all so fascinating.  I am starting to enjoy the thought that goes into answering each new person who asks of my intentions.  Will I take back my maiden name?

Can I get back to you on that?

Did you change your name when you got married? For those who are separated, did you change your name back? Tell me your stories… I LOVE hearing them!

Jessica Blumel

Nice to meet you! I'm Jessica a.k.a North Shore Mama. This site was born out of my love for my daughters and the desire to share my motherhood journey with fellow moms. I believe we're all in this craziness called 'parenthood' together and North Shore Mama is my way of reaching out to anyone who needs a laugh, a cry or dinner inspiration. Thank you so much for reading!

  • Hillary

    May 19, 2017 #1 Author

    I felt so attached to my maiden name when I got married. I didn’t actually change my name until I’d been married for over 6 years. My passport was up for renewal and I was sitting there with the application for the 10-year passport trying to decide if I should stick with my maiden or take my husband’s last name. Everyone is different but for me, by that point, my husband’s last name felt like our family’s name. It was less like I was giving up MY name to take HIS name and more like my name took the natural (for me!) progression from maiden to family. It works for us. I still use my maiden name for some stuff. Married for other. It’s certainly easier with Grady’s school and extracurriculars to have the same last name.

    Reply

    • Jessica Blumel

      May 19, 2017 #2 Author

      That’s totally how I feel too, when it comes to school things. Kind of makes life easier, all round somehow. xo

      Reply

  • Stephanie Fowler

    May 20, 2017 #3 Author

    I haven’t decided yet if I would take my future husband’s name. A lot of weight goes into that decision and I haven’t decided which would work best for me, yet.

    Reply

  • Kate

    June 2, 2017 #4 Author

    My mom and dad separated when I was 3 years old and my mom kept my dad’s last name because she wanted to have the same last name as me. It wasn’t until I was getting married that I opened up the question to ask my mom if she was still going to keep my dads last name or go back to her maiden name after 26 years. She sat with it and realized the reason she kept it was no longer going to be a reason. Energetically it was her last tie to my dad and she didn’t realize energetically how much of a shift she would feel, she was glad she did it. Of course you have many years until that day comes with your girls…xx

    Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *