There is a recurring question that I’m being asked almost daily now. I’m not sure if it naturally happens around the 1-year mark after separation (or what!) but it has become much more obvious to me recently. Friends, family and strangers alike all seem to want to know:
Will I go back to my maiden name?
Gibbons. Jessica Gibbons. That is who I used to be and that is who I still show up as on many of my friends’ call displays. That is how some of my friends have decided to start introducing me since my separation- I guess in anticipation of an… inevitable? … switch back.
For 27 years of my life I was a Gibbons. For 8 years, I have been a Blumel. Makes sense to go back to my original name, no? The ‘struggle’ lies therein.
Since I was a little girl, it was always my dream to be married, have a family and, (maybe) oddly enough… to take on the last name of my future husband. I was the girl that, every time I dated someone new, I practiced writing out Jessica _______ with HIS last name. There was never a doubt in my mind that marriage equalled name change. It was all so romantic and I’m a hopeless romantic. Self-admittedly and usually quite obviously.
Nobody gets married thinking they might one day get divorced. You make all decisions accordingly.
Alas, here I find myself, newly named and separated (within a period of 8 years) and being asked constantly what I am going to do about this situation I find myself in. Quite the conundrum.
Our babies are Blumel and we won’t be changing that. I’m cognizant of the fact that, nowadays, many parents have different last names than their children do, but somehow I feel attached to my ex’s name because of my kids.
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed that I changed my name to Jessica Rose (my middle name). If you don’t follow me on Instagram… come join the fun, here! I felt like simply removing the Blumel (and reverting to just my given names) was a pretty big step and somehow made me feel like I had ‘reclaimed’ a bit of myself. Some people noticed and I got private messages about it (mostly asking if I had remarried, which brings this all full-circle).
It’s such an interesting thing, this name game.
While I am still undecided, I find this all so fascinating. I am starting to enjoy the thought that goes into answering each new person who asks of my intentions. Will I take back my maiden name?
Can I get back to you on that?
Did you change your name when you got married? For those who are separated, did you change your name back? Tell me your stories… I LOVE hearing them!