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Something I’m trying to learn at age 33 Something I’m trying to learn at age 33
It took me many years, now into my 30’s, to realise that there is something very important that I don’t know how to do.... Something I’m trying to learn at age 33

It took me many years, now into my 30’s, to realise that there is something very important that I don’t know how to do.  At all. It’s not something I am proud of.  At all!

I don’t know how to RELAX.  I can’t wrap my mind around ‘chilling out’.  I don’t know what it means to just sit still.  If I ever find myself in that situation, where I come home from daycare drop-off and work and grocery shopping and daycare pick-up and I just sit down… on the couch… I feel instant guilt about all the things I SHOULD be doing and I don’t ever allow myself that moment of … indulgent nothingness. It doesn’t even happen when I am on holidays.  If I ever find a moment to myself, I make mental to-do lists or spend time on my phone engaging on social media.

I don’t know how to shut down and shut off.

I come from a very high energy and multi-tasking family.  Some of my earliest memories of my dad include him on the phone on business calls, weeding our gardens as he closed deals (or, in the very least pacing the room- there were no sit-down phone calls).  Same goes for my mom.  Doing a thousand things (typically for my dad, brother and I) all at once.

My life resembles the fast lane and, if I’m being honest with myself, it’s where I feel most comfortable.

Fast lane

From a very early age, I had instilled in me some pretty fierce work ethic, motivation and ambition.  For all that, I am eternally grateful! Having said that, what I have never taken upon myself to learn (FOR MYSELF) is how to spend some time idling throughout ‘the drive’. From a childhood filled with experience after experience and endless activity, I entered into an adulthood of ‘busyness’ because it’s what I know how to do best.

“Keep going. Don’t stop.  What’s next.  Don’t be lazy”, is a constant internal dialogue for me and I am beginning to understand the importance of- NO… the NECESSITY of!- abolishing these messages that are on repeat in my mind.

For my own sanity, but also for my daughters.

There are a few things that I wish for my girls in life such as confidence, acceptance of themselves exactly how they are, strength to make decisions that are scary and hard… the list goes on.  Somewhere on that list, amidst qualities of empathetic and happy, I wish for my girls to also be very okay with taking time to relax.  To think.  To read.  To listen to their favourite music.  To take the time in each day to do nothing at all.  Because our days do not need to be consumed with doing ‘something’ for the sake of doing it.

Sometimes, NOTHING times are often very important self-care times. Those times are crucial to our wellness.  And this is what I am working towards at age 33 so that I can model it for my children.

 

Jessica Blumel

Nice to meet you! I'm Jessica a.k.a North Shore Mama. This site was born out of my love for my daughters and the desire to share my motherhood journey with fellow moms. I believe we're all in this craziness called 'parenthood' together and North Shore Mama is my way of reaching out to anyone who needs a laugh, a cry or dinner inspiration. Thank you so much for reading!

  • Taslim Jaffer

    July 12, 2015 #1 Author

    Great post, Jess! ‘Nothing’ times are incredible! They are the foundation of creativity, health and connection to our authentic Self. I had an amazing role model in my grandmother who meditated every morning between 4 and 5 am from her early adulthood till her fatal heart attack in her ’80s. She was the strongest, most grounded woman I have ever known – even having been widowed at a young age and losing two young sons close together. She always said her strength came from her early morning meditations. Funny you wrote this – on Thursday night I sat in meditation after eons and had beautiful visions of her; I think she was reminding me to find my strength in my Self, in quiet and stillness. Sorry for the long comment but this is one of my fave topics!

    Reply

  • Kristina

    December 21, 2015 #2 Author

    I try to practice this too. It’s beautiful to slow down and just watch life go by.

    Reply

  • Jane Reid

    January 19, 2016 #3 Author

    Excellent post Jessica ! I relax perhaps a little too much but I’m married to a non relaxer who simply never ever stops 7 days a week

    Reply

    • Jessica Blumel

      January 19, 2016 #4 Author

      Sounds like there’s a nice balance in the relationship 😉

      Reply

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